परिचय

धेरै परिचय बोक्नु आफैंमा नसुहाउँदो हो । तर जिज्ञासु नभई एक खोजीको लागि मात्र थियो । शुष्म रुपमा केही खोज्नु र त्यसैलाई आलटाल गरी बनाउनु समस्याको निराकरण थियो । केही आम्दानीको प्रयोजन तर आज त्यही दिनको समिक्षा गर्न पनि पत्यार लाग्दो लाग्छ । त्यो कुनै माक्र्सवादी दन्द नै थियो वा हिगल र लेलिनको दर्शन । तर आँखाका परेलीले झिम्क्याइएका काला पलहरु ति वात्साल्यपनका जस्ता नहोलान । तर आज यही दृश्य नाटक जस्ता छन् । ति नजानिदा नदेखेका मानिस कुपुकुपु हाँस्छन्, आँखा झिम्क्याउँछन् अनि रिसाँउछन् जस्तो केही बन्न लागेका, भनेका अनि सोचेका, कल्पना गरेका । के आफ्ना कुरा खरानी हुन आँटेका होला ? अनि आफू बुढो मुढो भर बसिएको एउटा लाटो मूढो भएर एउटा लाटकोसेरो भएर जो रातमा आँखा देख्छ दिनमा अन्धो ।  

Dairy 2075-5-18

ताना बुना केही थिएन समय म जस्तै छिप्पीएको थियो । आज श्री कृष्ण अष्ठमी समाज शास्त्रको परिक्षा दिएको दिन परिक्षाको सकस पनि थियो । परिक्षाको सकस ठूलो थियो । तर जे भए पनि राम्रै दिएँ । अनायास एक चस्मीस साथीसँग वार्तालाप गरे साथी जाउँ भनेर । बोली राम्रै थियो । तर उ त पाटन कृष्ण मन्दिर जाने रे ।
म धार्मिक हुँला धेरै हदसम्म ! तर नी अनायास आएको उसको श्री कृष्ण मन्दिर तर्फको यात्रा विहान थाहै नभई कुखुराको मासु  मुखमा परेछ । म झस्के । सवै साथी खोजे नम्रता, विलिनता, सहिष्णुता पाएँ । एकछिन गफ गाफ गरेँ । समाज शास्त्रको परिचय पाँचसय एकसठी को परिक्षा राम्रै दिँए जस्तो लाग्छ । अनि हाम्रो ठट्यौला नेवा साथीसँग पाटनढोकाको बस पकडी कुराकानी गर्दै सुन्धारा झरेँ र माइक्रोबस चढी रत्नपार्क कोठामा झरेँ । साथीको प्रश्न थियो जनै त लाउनु भएछ उनी माइतीघर ओर्लिए ! बनेपा जानुछ रे ! अ म धार्मिक बन्ने कोषिशमा छु । दैँ आएको छ चण्डी गिता पढ्नुछ । परिक्षा त पहिले सकियोस ।
तर आज बेलुका निकै अठ्ठाहस भयो एकान्तका कारण फिदिम सम्झे अनि त्यसैको बारेमा साना वाक्य लेखेँ सानो गित कोरेँ र गाएँ पनि ।

निन्द्रा !

निदरीले सताउँदा यती व्यग्र हुँदा मन जसो कानबाट धुम्र केतु निस्कीएको जस्तो !

धेरै भएछ निदाएको उदेक लाग्दो दिन उठेपछी तानाबुनाले मात्र घेरीला ।

काम अन्तै व्यग्रलिएछन् उराठ चिन्तन आवाज आफ्नो मात्र ठीक उल्टो !

नाई अब त निदाउँदीन रात पीरौलो छ्याङ्ग उज्यालो !

Anything More on this Dashain

"Jayanti Mangala Kali Bhadrakali Kapalini Durga Chyamashivadhatri Swaha Swada Namostute"
My grandpa devoted utter this mantra, with Tika mixed with curd, paddy grain & sugar and I use to receive Tika and Jamara. But, this year is on dilemma on treating the auspicious fiesta.
                Dashain is the most conscious, awaited and resemblance of lord Durga (Kali) victory over Daitya Shumva  Nishumbha for overpowering the Regime Estate of Lord Indra Swarga. Titans who were dwelt on Patal take penance from god and want to be more powerful. Waging war against Indra and their armor was tough one but demons win his Sworga. So Kali has to fight on summon of Lord Indra to wage war against demons and to lost them and rehabilitate his palace.
                So far, Nepalese rituals are being on taken Happy Bijaya Dashami as a major festival once in the year of Aswin an era of victory over demons by great Kali from millennium.
We buy new clothing, decorate dwells and eat delicious one to celebrate this auspicious occasion.
                Receiving Tika and Jamara from the elder and blessed long life with Dakshina of new notes in this auspious occasion on the closure of schools, colleges, offices, factories, private and government offices bimonthly to per month vacation always take a pleasure on Aswin to us.
                A special budget are required and all are planned to travel to relatives and specially child to grannies.
                A vocation here wanted to resemblance is what would be the next to this Dashain mere a surface to being on room, pertaining Tika, playing card, getting clothes, meeting relatives, travelling, taking wines occasionally  or some other consequences remained unfixed , blurred, & unutterable.

खुसी असामान्जस्यताको

फेदी र मैदानको दुइबाटो हुँदा हुँदै साँघुरो कोठाका अनि त्यसको नापमा अटाउनु पर्दा कोक्रायाइँदा ब्रोइलर भएको विर्सन सकिन्न तर भाव र संवेदना जिउँका तिउँ किन कसरी त्यसको नत उत्तर छ न केलाउने शब्द ।
आज किन किन पाठ पल्टाएको थिएँ तर सायद भावना पनि पिरौलो आयो । न भाव बाँड्ने मित्र होलान फेरी त्यही शुन्यताको परिधि अनि आखाँका तरेली र आत्माको प्रति प्रश्न । न त्यसमा कहिले विहानी, दिन र रातको संवेदना । केवल चिनारी पलका । त्यान्द्रो भोली, पर्सी अनि अर्को पर्सिको ।

Worsening thoughts and its Negative Impacts

      Sometime parental meeting is absurd and meaninglessness, it alike thoughts of own would worsen  to be negative. Some days or months or in year’s eternal  child in society may arouse feeling awkward. The preamble of justice in pursuit of happiness and being calm in children psychology and in cerebellum remains ever unquestioned unless some scratch of their mind of unnecessary guiltiness and role of family members. Giving birth and growing are basic one. But to impoverish child, to bear them, to provide quality education in satisfactory environment and uphold them as good family member and a renowned associate to society is liable. If there is economic prosperity in family once in a part of tenant but after and after decades it will be worsening too. This dogmatic view or rule would not only imply to ruling class but to economic and to bourgeoisie. But, how to make your family commune relies to members itself.  The lack of dignity and behavior due to lack of education up bring members to conflict and raise unhappy environment. Another major cause is lack of materialistic view due to essence of money too.In Bhagwat Gita human body is taken as heavenly thing and work(karma) is treated as functions of body. And in this effort you would find your spirit of goodness in your heart and mind told by shree Krishna.But, in west ethos, thanatos, Titans all are mixture and Eros and Aphrodite are part of life. Jesus though crucified helped us as a sacred life.Beyond religion now the present day this is not the world of amours and priests, neither lawyers and popes it is a rule of modernization, industrialization, development and urbanization. So on indulging with science and taking extreme use of media and books and travel impacts on mind of people relying every part of world only a citric  boundary of wealth is nonsense unless you have will, tricks and money.         Bureaucrats, officials and government leaders should not be incumbent to rely its forces on the segment of laws and labour too in order for every individuals, family members, teachers,students, doctors, peasants, farmers and conscious so the development of thoughts on new era of module that I think of 21^st century would be better and fruitful.Than beating with superstitious thoughts to child and taking himself/herself mere gossiping brings a haphazard to their mind.

VACANT IDEAS AFTER NO DEAL ON MEDIA

                                          

No idea emerges. Only distinct and standing thought of existence. Because as world only seems for words seen on Newspaper, online, TV and news. Society bounds only on room and words little bit strange and absurd always chattered.
                I think it is a right time for travel now. Where next is not discussed and unplanned myself.  It is now all about exams. For about Girls it may be but ever distinguished and love I am reduced to only kiss, bow and behold. But the extremist of pattern from then like to blossom rose and claiming valentine is a dream itself. Thought emerges who will accept from this insane.
                But to listening love songs is hazard to me because a way to find love from girlfriend not except paternal love will be of heavenly things. You are delighted or felt nonsense to feelings but it is true. Sometime I think to be drunkard and to tease passing beautiful girls walking on street but it seems unusual. From that very day what will happen next. Songs are beautiful or sad.
                Life is becoming worsened without money and apart from that instinct all were abandoned. And for a coffee to a restaurant has always a dream than person alike could not have possession of love with materialistic approach. But thoughts occur if human body is supreme why he could not be pleased without matter. I bought Gita but not well read due to exams. It been worsen day to read but matter to read is extensive. Likewise the weight is to pass anyhow. May lord Vishnu will pave the way to my little afford on this part as he helped Arjuna in Mahabharat epic.
                Perhaps nothing new than that after my exam I would get pleasure to join as media as a freelancer. Would it not be a great deal? It’s much to me. But for exam to next month I have to read twisting my knees for nearly about sixteen hours per day. But all are mere a gossip.
                Except this life what implies to me never discussed through inner heart. One I distinguished in teenage as hard effort to do and assembled future as a huge destination to view as a prediction for my interest to become what I want to be. I thought to be a media entrepreneur. Instead of failure became unconscious remaining lying on bed for so many years as a patient to be on comma. Besides than, What has happened it remains closed to me and don’t want to disclose. Because years has been ruined.
                Now, it is for new days and the time to mingle with new ways to achieve life not as a passive but to be activist. Activist of arousing thoughts as a commerce of inventing ideas of being rationalist in appreciation of ideas, feelings, norms, values and integration of family and society members to over reach to coalition of upbringing myself and own self as a major role of getting talent. It’s an idea of being an output of being an amateur. So, life is not ruined and it has just started. Now, the question emerges how to be bookish.
                Time passed it passes on.  No fate is surmounted by scorn I overheard from my mama and later read. Life is bitter without hopes not generated in future. But, Instead it makes me sleepy in the past because of my illness harm to go to college. And friend circles are neutral. Life to me was a stage as of William Shakespeare. It is a stage and life is a drama where everybody showing act as an instinct as a player himself in a drama. How much I enroll in my writings I discuss would be noticed later on my upcoming months but really I was to emerge on Philosophy, Psychology and Western Philosophy. But to that extent you readers assume it was huge mistake to read like this but feelings and thoughts never be exploited on individuals writing.
                But a major concern, my body is becoming lazy and it should be exercised and always be freshen. I think it’s time of jogging after months. One thing lacks I think awakening morning and sleeping on right time should be followed.
                Thanks to the recent World Cup football series which refreshment  and the month of July, 2018 on which I have to write something new of and for my lifetimes which will be little one and fruitful to read the article later on. Finished…